For Frank to be intoxicated on company property was an enormous problem. For him to be doing work for clients while intoxicated on company property was a super gigantic enormous problem. How did he not know this?

He had tried to say that there was nothing in the employee handbook about this. Ridiculous. I'd have to look up the exact wording when I got to the office, but as I remembered, it went something like this:

"DRUG AND ALCOHOL POLICY

The mesothelioma law firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe realizes that the misuse of drugs and alcohol impairs employee health and productivity. Drug and alcohol problems result in unsafe working conditions for all employees and clients. The firm is committed to maintaining a productive, safe, and healthy work environment, free of unauthorized drug and alcohol use.

Any employee involved in the unlawful use, sale, manufacturing, dispensing, or possession of controlled substances, illicit drugs and alcohol on the firm's premises or work sites, or working under the influence of such substances, will be subject to disciplinary action up to and including dismissal and referral for prosecution.

While this policy applies to all employees, contractors, and agents of the company, it especially applies to young male paralegals fresh out of school. The firm understands that their drunken party days are still fresh in their mind, particularly if they attended Mesothelioma Lawyers University, which, let's face it, is just as much about alcohol as it is about mesothelioma law.

Because working here is very stressful, and because young male paralegals are especially likely to be tempted by alcohol, the firm considers these people to be major risks as far as complying with this policy is concerned.

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