"Morty has a bottle of Maker's Mark in his desk," I offered.

"That's perfect!" Tuck cheered.

"Really?" I asked. "Is that stuff any good? Isn't Jack Daniel's the best bourbon?"

"Are you kidding me?" Tuck scoffed. "Jack Daniel's isn't even bourbon. It's Tennessee whiskey."

"Bourbon can't come from Tennessee?" I asked.

"You know how champagne isn't really champagne unless it comes from the Champagne wine region of France? That the same stuff made elsewhere is just sparkling wine?"

"Yeah," I acknowledged.

"Well," Tuck said, "bourbon just isn't bourbon unless it comes from Bourbon County, Kentucky."

"And Maker's Mark comes from Bourbon County, Kentucky?" I asked.

"Well, no." Tuck laughed. "But at least it comes from a nearby county in Kentucky. Technically, bourbon doesn't have to be distilled in Bourbon County to be called bourbon. But there are very specific requirements that bourbon has to meet. Maker's Mark meets them. Jack Daniel's doesn't."

This was a shocker. "What's wrong with Jack Daniel's?"

"Oh, nothing's wrong with it," Tuck responded. "It's just not a bourbon. It's different, like Peking duck is different from Russian caviar. Jack Daniel's is a Tennessee sour mash whiskey. It's good stuff, but because it's filtered through sugar maple charcoal, it's not bourbon whiskey."

"Well then," I said, "let's get ourselves a couple of glasses of bourbon whiskey."

I found the glasses while Tuck grabbed the bottle. I noticed the top of the bottle looked like it had been dipped in some red substance, and Tuck was peeling something off. "What's that?" I asked.

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