I sighed, then continued to play along. "This mineral was used by the ancient Greeks. Because of its amazing ability to withstand heat, they named it asbestos, meaning inextinguishable. Because of this, as well as its soft and pliant properties, they called it the miracle mineral. It became popular in the late 1800s because of its resistance to heat, ability to withstand electrical and chemical damage, sound absorption, and tensile strength. These properties made it ideal for fire retardant coatings, concrete, bricks, pipe insulation, fireplace cement, extra resistant gaskets, ceiling insulation, fireproof drywall, flooring, roofing, and lawn furniture."

"Wow, it sounds really useful," Tuck blurted out.

I nodded. "Which is why we still haven't banned it in the United States, like they have in Europe, Australia, Japan, and most developed countries. Unfortunately, it has since become clear that asbestos causes mesothelioma."

"But is asbestos what always causes mesothelioma?" Morty asked.

"Morty," I said, "as we all know, but you apparently need reminding, the town of Mesothelioma Lawyers, New York is an anomaly. We have very little asbestos here. Yet our mesothelioma incidence rate is off the charts, and continuing to skyrocket. But no one knows what's causing it."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Morty said.

"Oh, right," I replied, "you said that Mrityu is causing it. Only the thing is, people don't get sick from ill wishes. There has to be a physical cause."

"Maybe there is, and maybe it's been hiding in plain sight all along." Morty seemed to know something. "Tell me, Jack, what do you know about phazon?"

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